On the road again…

Donkey: on the road again..I can’t wait to get on the road again.
Shrek: what did I say about singing?
Donkey: well can I whisle?
Shrek: no!
Donkey: well can I humm?
Shrek: Alright.
Donkey: hmmm hmmm hmmmm hmmmm hmmm.

Or for those who like the visual: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Myb-eAt_RxY.

Yes, I’m back on the road. Yes, I will be Zac’s annoying little donkey all the way back up to London. Yes, I am as unprepared for this 7 day / 1,020km cycle as I was leaving Buckingham Palace back on 14th April 2012. Why should I change a winning formula? More on my lack of preparation and Zac’s utter dismay (what were you expecting buddy) at my ineptitude later. You may also be wondering why I’m writing another blog, which would be a very reasonable question! Part of me misses writing to you lovely people, part of me enjoys putting my erratic thoughts down on ‘paper’ and the biggest part of me can hear Zac furiously typing away next to me about his adventures from Faro to here and I wanted to be part of it again! If you’re already bored, click here to read his, most likely more interesting, stories – he is currently laughing at my futile attempts to try and make a train journey sound riveting. I will give it my best!

Before that, let me briefly bring you up to speed… Since my return to London 4 months ago I have thoroughly enjoyed regaling my tales from the road to whoever cares to listen, or at least feign interest. This has included my talk to friends & family at St George’s Church back in November, my old prep school Yardley Court to a very inquisitive bunch of 7-13 year olds, Breast Cancer Care headquarters in London, the Savile Club in Mayfair, London and in many pubs & bars across the land, with a few more schools lined up. My good pal Paul Nugent even got me into Off Track Planet, an online travel magazine, in a feature called ‘This Guy’. I think I get the biggest kick out of these events as I get to re-live my journey through the photos & videos I share with people, remembering all kinds of highs & lows from those moments captured on camera. Despite constantly returning to my time on the road last year, I am also looking forward to future adventures in life and on the road. I would like to be able to tell you what these are, but even I’m not 100% yet… The idea of Polar adventure is being sown in my mind and Zac brought up Race Across America last night after lots of red wine (an 8 day cycling dash from east to west coast). Whatever it is, you will know in one way or another.

Back to the present now, as who likes to dwell on the past… I am sitting in rural France in the most idyllic country house in Saint-Matré, just west of Cahors in the South of France, where I am being hosted exceptionally kindly by Richard & Fiona (Zac’s family). I have travelled here in order to keep Zac safe & sound for the remainder of his around-the-world-cycle, or as he puts it: ‘ you are here so that if my bike collapses on the last leg I can use yours as a back up’. Charming! My journey to Saint-Matré may not have been as adventurous as his cycle across Australia, New Zealand, the United States of America, Portugal, Spain and a supposedly nippy ride across the Pyrenees, but it did have its hiccups. You would have thought I learnt a thing or two from cycling from London to Hong Kong last year. It would seem I hadn’t. I haphazardly threw some clothes & kit into my panniers without looking at the weather forecast or terrain in France and set about the gruelling 12km cycle from Balham to St. Pancras at 06:00 to catch my Eurostar to Paris. One would think that I would know a thing or two about travelling, since it is my day job, but I guess I still haven’t learnt that taking a 3 inch blade through x-ray machines and customs is not a good idea. My favourite camping knife is no more. My clumsiness continued upon disembarking from the Eurostar; I left my money wallet, with my passport, money & credit cards, on board the train only to realise its absence 20 minutes later. My dumb luck has remained with me, as a very kind family returned it to me whilst I frantically searched for it. I plodded out into Paris with 2 hours of free time before my train left for Cahors, so I did what any other sane British tourist would do: I cycled to Notre-Dame, had an espresso and a cigarette, had an argument with the waiter about tipping, listened & sang along to Edith Piaf whilst cycling along the Seine, had steak tartare with a Kronenburg, argued with another waiter, ate a chocolate eclair, looked suitably arrogant, stepped in dog shit and made my train with 5 minutes to spare. And what did you do Zac…cycled 190km through the freezing cold?!? Pffff. The train journey to Cahors was uneventful, apart from getting off at the wrong stop. I can be such a plonker.

The ‘tough’ journey was worth it to be reunited with Mr Clayton. His youthful good looks and ear-to-ear smile made me think how jealous Sophie must be that I’m here and she’s not 😉 The car journey back, however, filled me somewhat with dread with Zac telling me how insanely cold it has been in the mornings with tent poles and gear systems freezing up and asking me what the route looks like to Calais. He looked at me and said “you’ve come prepared right?”, “you know the route right?”. Alas! My silence said it all. I was greeted with mocking laughs and the expected insults as my panniers consisted of cycling shorts, light summer gloves, a mediocre jumper, a game of Bananarama and no maps or GPS whatsoever. What I thought might be a leisurely jaunt is already making me shudder in my 2mm thin summer socks. Despite the taunting, the frost lingering until mid-morning and the fear of being grossly unfit compared to Zac, I couldn’t be more excited about hitting the road tomorrow for the daily 150km grind for the next 6 days. The camaraderie, the camping, the quality time spent with my forgotten friend/teddy Rocco, the painful thawing out of fingers & toes, the punctures, the French food, the slipstreaming and coming up with the next botched adventure to get me through 2013. I am so not ready, I am ready. Bring it on…all over again!

Zac writing blog

Waiting to board the Eurostar

Richard & Fiona’s idyllic French country house

Paris